Schlachtplatte - DIE JAHRESENDABRECHNUNG 2026

20 years and still going strong! The legendary “Schlachtplatte” is back: As he does every year, Cologne-based cabaret artist Robert Griess has gathered three fantastic colleagues around him to turn all the topics that usually just put people in a bad mood into sparks of pure comedy—satire, loosely based on the motto “Those who
worship sacred cows are pious. Whoever slaughters sacred cows gets fed!”
It’s time to settle the score—with everything that defined 2026 and threw the world into turmoil: What’s next in Season 2 of “Games of Trump”? Is there an ICE monster that devours all the canceled trains? Is Europe a shared apartment or a homeowners’ association? And anyway: Has everyone gone
crazy—except us, of course?
It’s time to settle the score once again with everything that was stupid, idiotic, and wrong in 2026. As always, served with all the ingredients needed for a proper feast: From sarcastic stand-up monologues to satirical crowd scenes, from socially critical songs to hilarious skits—nothing is left out to keep the audience in stitches at the highest level for two hours.

Robert Griess is one of the sharpest political cabaret artists in Germany and, according to the Kölner Stadt-Anzeiger, “Cologne’s quickest and sassiest tongue.” He has been organizing the “Schlachtplatte” for 20 years.
Nora Boeckler (Cologne) is the Rhineland’s comedy powerhouse with a Swabian immigrant background.
Gilly Alfeo (Cologne) shaped the Springmaus ensemble for 22 years, most recently served as part-time president of the STUNKSITZUNG,
and is also an outstanding musician.
Hosea Ratschiller (Vienna), a multi-award-winning comedy expert and world-famous in Austria, delights audiences with
multifaceted humor, unparalleled wordplay, and a mercilessly incisive outside perspective on the ills of this country.
Together, the Fantastic Four of Cabaret present the wildest satire show west of the Volga and east of the Mississippi!

“A group led by Robert Griess makes short work of things and turns the present upside down. Finally, cabaret with a stance and a mission again. Above all: an ensemble! Something we’re no longer used to seeing on cabaret stages,
and thanks to their diverse and colorful interplay, you realize just what you’ve been missing for so long. As a group, they can even reenact TikTok, or as a duo, a therapy AI for SPD lawmakers. But the merry four don’t just want to perform—they also want to fulfill their core cabaret mission: to highlight and inspire. Despite their penchant for slapstick and exaggeration, every skit playfully skewers a social injustice.”
Süddeutsche Zeitung

“‘Schlachtplatte’ is the name of this year-end cabaret wrap-up, and the fact that the evening flies by speaks for itself. It’s just a shame that we’ll have to wait another year for the next installment...”
General-Anzeiger, Bonn